11.30am
I'm supposed to be at work today but I can't seem to drag myself out of the flat. I'm not functioning AT ALL. It's such a nice day outside and I can't make myself go out. I try to think of things to make myself feel better - codeine, watching tv, colouring, puzzles, sleeping - but I can't enjoy it or I can't focus on it. I've hit rock bottom again. I had a nice weekend as R came to stay and we hung out watching Netflix, then went to a BBQ and then went to lunch and the beach. It was really nice and I started to feel vaguely normal. But now the depression is back to the point where I'll be sobbing on the floor, unable to move. I've slipped back to comfort eating - Fatty, we meet again! The emotional pain is unbearable. I feel like I'm just waiting for someone to save me because I don't have the first clue on how to save myself.
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