Post holiday blues?

2.00pm

Over Easter, I had been to Portugal for 10 nights with my mum as my treat. We left for the airport at 6.30am and then our flight was delayed by an hour. Got to our hotel and it was vile. We got to our prison cell....I mean room and it was filthy everywhere. There was wires hanging out the heater which I didn't know until I plugged it in and it tripped the electric to our apartment. The main hotel part looked like it was the set from 'The Shining' and the food was horrible. The plates were covered in grease with a dirty residue on them and the glasses were so dirty that you couldn't see through them.

I complained the next day and I just got a rude response from the girl at the desk and she seemed as though she didn't give a crap. So, I looked online and found another hotel. It was basic and self catering but it was clean which is all we wanted. Now I have to fight to get my money back.

On the positive side, I visited Gibraltar, Lisbon, Albufeira, Lagos, Silves, Monchique mountains and Cape Vincente (the most south westerly part of the Iberian peninsula also known as the 'End of the World'). I really enjoyed the travelling around and seeing new places. Gibraltar was by far the best, it's beautiful out there.

While I was away, I found out all these things...

- The car I had given to B has died and is going to get scrapped
- The TV at home has died
- My gran is really ill
- The extent of my mums alcoholism became apparent
- B may be moving 230 miles away for his job so I don't know if our relationship of 5 years is going to hold up
- My sister isn't really talking to me since she found out about my niece being pregnant

I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday because my CBT therapist made me list everything that was wrong in my life and instead of reassuring me that I'll get past it, she was more like - holy crap, you've got alot going on, on top of your mental illness and endometriosis. So it's hit home how hard my life is. I was meant to go to work yesterday and today but can't bring myself to do it. I feel as though I'm spiralling into depression again but I need to stay focussed and keep my spirits up with doing things I enjoy. I'm also sleeping alot more now which isn't a good sign. I'm always tired and it's making me miserable. I feel I'm starting to rely more and more on codeine and diazepam which is really dangerous and the last thing I should be doing but nothing else gives me release from the mental whirlwind in my head.

Any comments of encouragement on here would be great. Depression makes you appreciate the little things in life.