Trying to turn things around

10.10pm

In short, I'm hoping that today is the day that I start to turn things around. I told mum that I have slogged my guts out trying to help her but she is doing nothing to help herself. Therefore I am done trying to help and feeling responsible for her. The pressure is now off me. I've also been trying to lower my hours to my normal contracted hours although yesterday I worked 11.5 hours.

Went to CBT today and then came home and had a 2 hour nap in response to trying to listen to my body's needs. Going to bed soon now too. I am going to be very gentle with myself this week and not put too much pressure on.

Although, I haven't prepped a lesson for tomorrow in any way, shape, or form so I will have to do some on the spot teaching. And I was supposed to mark 20 assignments tonight but I'm too tired and in ALOT of pain from my endometriosis. I'm not beating myself up about it. Found out today that my gran has been hospitalised after having a fall and is being diagnosed with dementia. This is throwing a spanner in the works.

B has been fantastic and has been helping more. I just hope it continues as it has made such a difference. My colleagues and friends have all been rallying around me too which makes me feel worth something. 

Weigh day tomorrow! Hoping for 2lbs this week! Then just 1 lb a week until christmas until I lose 10% of my body weight. I can do this! I don't feel like I've lost much weight at all this week though. Very nervous.