Hospital visit

7.00am

So last night at about 11.30pm, I took myself off to hospital. I self harmed. I cut deeper and deeper and then before I knew it, it looked like a cut that needed stitches. I was hoping they would just patch it up and let me go but I stupidly blurted out that I did it on purpose and that I had taken 10mg diazepam and 5 codeine tablets. So then I had to wait for the psychiatrist at 1.30am. She explained she was from the Crisis Team and that I should call her if I feel like that again. Well......I feel like a right twat so won't be doing that again. I feel so ashamed and disgusted at myself that I'm skipping breakfast and probably lunch too. I'm feeling so down trodden right now, spiraling down into an abyss. But I must dust myself off, get to work and pretend everything is fine. I've had 4 hours sleep. I feel terrible.

Snack = Green tea, fruit and veg smoothie (147 cals)

2.30pm

Had a busy day today and now I am shattered after only 4 hours sleep. Got so many practicals going on but managed to come up with a diary for slimming world. I start it on Thursday but it seems so far away. I'm not going to give up my smoothies because they're low calorie and now I put green tea in it, they're super healthy too. Had 3 hours of my course this morning but I managed to get some work done. Should be doing more now but I'm so tired, I can't face it. Tomorrow, the packing up of the department starts again as we're moving to a new building. I have to pack up 3 labs. not looking forward to it but atleast I'll burn more calories.

Lunch = Jacket potato with baked beans (445 cals)

Dinner = Mexican refried bean pizza and chocolate (667 cals )


Alcohol = 4 shots of rum with coke (280 cals)


Total calories = 1609