Getting obsessional

2.00pm
1000mg paracetamol
16mg codeine
Sudafed

9.00pm
1000mg paracetamol
16mg codeine
Sudafed
20mg Omeprazole
Dulcoease

7.10pm

When my depression spirals out of control, I get obsessional over things. At the moment it is food and my weight. I want people to see how vulnerable I am on the outside rather than feeling like I have this clandestine issue that no one knows about. Sounds attention seeking but if I don't make it apparent some how, I'm never going to get the support and help. New years resolution is to lose weight and hopefully get down to 7 stone. Everything else in my life is chaotic, so this is something to keep me on track and focused rather than thinking about all the crap. 

The past 2 days I've had one meal a day. But the calories in the alcohol will have counteracted that so that's a fail. For new year, I also want to be getting myself off codeine and diazepam and only take it when absolutely essential. Will go tits up knowing me but I need to try. 

11.30pm

Everyone is so incredibly drunk and I can't tolerate them. Everything is about them and I can't stand to be around them. They go on about wanting best for their kids but how is damaging your liver, causing an ugly death going to help the kids? It's all getting out of control and if they don't sort their shit out then I want no part of it. I know I have my own issues but at least I'm trying to do something about it.